Onion Lifestyle Columnist Jill Hooper wonders how one-third of American adults are still obese even though cucumbers are so easy to find. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/